Things I wish I knew when I started freelancing
Drumroll… I'm celebrating two years of working on my own! Something that began as a backup plan while I found my next full-time job, became my full-time job. I'm so grateful to the version of me who decided to try, even through the uncertainty that being self-employed can bring. I'm proud of her! She was doing her best. As a way to celebrate this path, I've chosen to give myself the gift of introspection, the kind of advice that ripens with time.
Looking back, there are a few things I wish I had known when I started. The journey can feel lonely and stressful, but it can also be exciting and transformative (sometimes these feelings get mixed up). I hope I continue to be ruthless about my happiness like I was back then. I need to find her again, and writing this has helped me. In gifting myself this advice, I hope it helps you, too.
Rotterdam during the day on a sunny afternoon walk.
You will get there through sheer willpower and blind faith, not calculated moves and high stress. You won't forget about making a business plan or narrowing down what you're good at - but you won't drown in their practicalities, either.
You will have to remember the version of you who was brave, who decided to go for something new. It doesn't matter what it is: remember that first new job, first new house, first new country you visited? Remember how you felt? The feeling of, I'm not sure where I'm at, but I think it's good. Remember that feeling. Hang on to it.
You will sometimes hear voices of doubt creep in, from yourself and from the people you love. Understand there is no ill intent behind it: more often than not, these voices are trying to protect you. Thank these voices for their effort, remind them that you're capable. That if you fall or fly, it's all the same, because you'll always come back to your own two feet - one way or another.
Amsterdam this time, on a sunny afternoon walk.
There will be times when you question whether you're enough. It manifests itself in different ways: do you have enough projects? Do you feel challenged enough? Proven enough, good enough? Even enough to pursue this path? You can end up asking yourself, who even gave you the right to think you could do it? Free yourself of the fear by repeating, it was you, you, you, over and over again. You gave yourself permission to be enough. It's uncomfortable at first, taking ownership, feeling like this is yours. But you know what's comfortable? Allowing yourself to fully pursue something new. And owning it!
You will get bored at some point. Maybe you think your skills are of better use elsewhere. Maybe you want the safety of a paycheck at the end of every month. So many taxes, so many deadlines! But then, the freedom. The freedom. Visiting friends across countries. Spending time with people you love. Going home for weeks, not days. Learning that the valuable thing, maybe the best thing, is time: to spend. To share. To give. Learning that it won't wait for you. Learning to savor it, even in the duller periods.
It'll get lonely. You'll be working on a given week and notice you won't speak to people for hours at a time unless you make an effort to. At first, it may seem the most efficient time in the world. So much is getting done when you're left alone! And yet. We are social creatures. Find peers who work on their own, invite them for co-working sessions. Call your mom over your lunch break. Connect with people in your own ways, but make sure you do.
The beauty of Amsterdam on a Winter day.
You'll sometimes feel anxious about money. Irritated. Nervous. Scared. It's an opportunity, a blessing in disguise: use that time to think about your relationship with money. Do you want to make more of it for the sake of more? How much do you need, vs. how much do you think you need? Are you pursuing your career in favor of money, or in service of people? Find the answers, as they find you. Remember them when you feel your feelings about money next.
You don’t need to play the cool digital nomad. You can enjoy the freedom, but also the nesting. In the beginning, there's the excitement of seeing the world. It opens up its palms as if to say, I've been waiting for you. You'll try to go anywhere, everywhere. Enjoy the urges and act on them if you can. Don't get too caught up in the surprise that you love routine after a while, though. Laying down roots is grounding, emotional, beautiful work. Allow yourself to do so, and watch yourself flourish in a new way.
Sometimes, you will not know where you're standing at all. There will be liminal periods and pockets of time that feel strange, alien, like you're there but not quite there. There is no structure, no hierarchy, no promotion to chase, and the question, "What's next?" can and will catch up with you. Let it catch up with you. Freak out if you need to, and then observe. What do you feel? Is the rat race what matters to you, or have you been told it's what matters? How can you step out of it and come back to yourself?
Reinvention will be necessary. But it will also be possible. Reinvent yourself, again and again. Making your own work, working on your own: ultimately, it becomes a part of you. Reinvent the way you do things. Embracing change is your best friend, your greatest ally: it is the only way to thrive in the business world. So: think, and re-think, about what you have to offer, how you can best give it to the world. There is great, transformative power in reinvention. Don't be afraid of it.
♒︎
Clement Taffin is a digital comms specialist. When she's not doing doing that, she's agonizing over what it means to be a person in the 21 century.
